Onion Sandwiches

Happy New Year Everyone!

Boy, have I got a recipe for you today. But you can only eat it while you’re by yourself, that’s why the recipe only serves one.

Now, if your significant other happens to catch you in the act, you have nothing to worry about. Your mouth will be full and it would be impolite to talk in this manner. So just keep your mouth closed and nod in a vertical fashion. But if the answer is no, please don’t nod. Just shake your head from side-to-side in a horizontal fashion. They’ll get your drift.

But what about when you’re finished eating? How will you be able to keep from speaking? Aha! As usual, Your Smiling Chef will come to your aid.

Here’s what you do. Grab the nearest dishtowel and wrap it around your head, securing the vertical points around your head and tie a bow at the top at the most northern part of the tippy-top of your forehead. Hopefully the towel will have some sort of design that matches the attire you’re wearing.

Then you will take the dishcloth and stuff it into the side of the lateral left horizontal angle that will be at approximately 45-degrees from your tippy-top. Now you’ve got it made.

You can scribble on a napkin beginning your sentence at the eastern portion (since you'll be writing upside-down) and jot down, “I don’t know when I’ll be able to talk to you honey. I bit down on something and now the westerly region of my oral cavity is swollen and possibly infected. Please don’t come too close.”

And that, my dear friend, is the very best remedy for onion breath.

Your Ingredients: (serves one)

4 slices of soft white bread
mayonnaise
2 bibb lettuce leaves, washed and patted dry with a paper towel
1 large Vidalia or red onion, washed and sliced into thick rounds
salt
freshly ground pepper

USING a large round biscuit cutter (approximately 3-1/2-inches in diameter), cut out rounds from each slice of bread to make 4 rounds for 2 sandwiches. Save the edges for the birds.

SLATHER tons of mayonnaise on each round.

PLACE each lettuce leaf on 2 bread rounds.

PLACE 2 thick round slices of raw onion on each of the bread rounds.

SPRINKLE with salt and freshly ground pepper.

COVER both sandwiches with the other 2 bread rounds.

SERVE to yourself and make sure that there are dishcloths and dishtowels nearby. If you need a compass or ruler for your measurements, keep those handy too.

Always Enjoy!